Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:04 <inaudible> everyone. Welcome to today. We are doing a, <inaudible> giving you a trunk and dating advice where some of my favorite people are going to show up and answer some of your dating relationship questions. <inaudible> what's up daddy?
Speaker 1 00:01:03 Oh, you know, uh, we just finished a quick dinner. I grabbed the beverage and uh, yeah. Let's let's do this.
Speaker 0 00:01:19 Your roommates. Is that correct?
Speaker 1 00:01:26 And there are some stories I'm sure we're going to talk about, I don't remember any of them,
Speaker 0 00:01:44 Your phone or a laptop. You're using your phone. Use my phone, my laptop,
Speaker 1 00:01:53 But like Jeff looks super fucking, like really good camera
Speaker 0 00:01:58 Cleaning.
Speaker 1 00:02:00 And you're using your iPad. Omar. What are you using? I'm using a laptop, but I was just where we're
Speaker 0 00:02:08 I feel like I'm, I'm very much, I'm benefiting very much,
Speaker 1 00:02:12 But I got going on right here. Where are you?
Speaker 0 00:02:17 I'm right in front of Merlin's rest. Oh yeah. Come on down, man.
Speaker 1 00:02:25 Yeah, I actually was just there. So I had to feed the kid and then, you know, hop on and grab a drink.
Speaker 0 00:02:35 Okay, guys, I'm going to come on at some point. So we have daddy, Omar. Hey, who is a DJ and a personal trainer. He's a lover of all things, tech, um, and it's time off. He enjoys playing with his adorable son and hanging out with his wife sipping on fine bourbon drinks. Hello, Omar bliss. And then we have Jeffrey Moon who is currently living in Austin, Texas. Yeah, but you're thinking about moving. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1 00:03:21 In Austin,
Speaker 0 00:03:23 Virginity, Virginia 15. It was not very good at dating since he could never tell a girl. Oh, for girl liked him.
Speaker 1 00:03:33 I'm not sure exactly what I wrote, but okay, go ahead.
Speaker 0 00:03:44 Um, he just assumed that if you like it, you couldn't stop thinking about someone that he liked her. Despite this, he has been lucky to have a few longterm relationships over the years and now has been married for about eight years. He holds advanced degrees in psychology, social work and business. None of which ever gotten him late,
Speaker 1 00:04:18 But he might've seen his roommate get laid from
Speaker 0 00:04:24 Policy. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. Jeff Nelson currently lives in Austin. He used to be a music producer, thieves and volunteering is one of the easiest and effective ways to help people, animals and himself. Before the Rhoda, he would volunteer at least once a month for various organizations. Now he just posts pics of his dog and food for likes on it. He's silly as fuck liberal as fuck and single as fuck.
Speaker 1 00:05:05 Good one. Love it. Good one.
Speaker 0 00:05:12 So here we are. We are answering people's dating questions. I have a whole notebook. Well, I have a couple of pages.
Speaker 1 00:05:24 Well, let's do it.
Speaker 0 00:05:29 What's that?
Speaker 1 00:05:34 Uh, I think that was Jeff, not Jeff Moon, but I know how are we going to do that? Should we just go by Nelson and moon Nelson moon or no? Omar Nelson and moon folks were doing Kenny Loggins covers. Well, Kenny Loggins. So that's awesome. That's going to factor heavily into our dating advice. Fair Kenny Loggins. What kind of Kenny Loggins song? He rubbed the booty too. All the people are gonna be able to relate to this so much. I can tell already it's going to be awesome. Let's do it. Let's do it.
Speaker 0 00:06:28 My friend, Jeff, another Jeff wants to know why women leave their underwear at his place in the morning.
Speaker 1 00:06:36 Oh, go ahead. Alright. So two reasons. If, if, if they were really drunk and you did the thing and they just forgot about it, cause they woke up early, you had to leave early. Cause that's honest mistake. You weren't so drunk. And they did that. Then that's like marking the territory. That is not true. It's just my opinion. I mean, I feel like that's probably a better question for like a woman. I would think so too. Why have you ever done that? Have you ever,
Speaker 0 00:07:24 I would be like, I am leaving these in case any other woman is here territorial.
Speaker 1 00:07:31 Oh yes. Oh my nailed it. Yes. There's no reason why you wouldn't like
Speaker 0 00:07:38 Over there. Like if it's like, it's usually never an accident. Cause I remember. Yeah. A lot of things, like I remember almost everything, even if it's on purpose and it's because I'm marking my territory.
Speaker 1 00:07:54 Yeah. Have you ever left their drawers at a female's house? Fuck. No, that'd be weird as fuck. I do piss on their bathroom floor though. Yeah. Boom. That is a definite in that bedroom. I'm trying to remove fingerprints, taken everything, wiping down. I might take some of their underwear,
Speaker 0 00:08:26 A guy that I had sex with took my, took my underwear. She never gave her back.
Speaker 1 00:08:32 Holy shit. Look, we're doing really well so far. I think we've got some good answers. Next question.
Speaker 0 00:08:42 What's the best way to respond to being ghosted
Speaker 1 00:08:46 To just go some back. Yeah. Like don't don't the energy. The energy is yours. As long as you don't respond. Yep. And so if you're sitting,
Speaker 0 00:08:59 Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1 00:08:59 Like they still have the energy just fucking go to them. That's right. Yeah. Cause you know, as soon as you start ignoring your fucking weird ass boyfriends, they start hitting you up immediately.
Speaker 0 00:09:20 Oh yeah. No they do. They're like, Ooh,
Speaker 1 00:09:24 You don't need to be around. People like that. No one needs to be around. People like that. If someone goes to like that fucking leave him alone. They don't deserve shit. Sometimes that it's, it's just, it could be two things. It could be like honest mistake. Maybe that got crushed. So always send the Hey text after that. If they don't answer that, then you don't pay them any not me. Not me. Nope. I'm out.
Speaker 0 00:09:59 I have too much point. I will not fuck with anyone if they ghost me. Bye.
Speaker 1 00:10:03 Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm gonna be fair. I'm just like, that's on you, man. You lost your opportunity. Knock on the door and be like, Oh, Hey, don't forget about me now. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:10:22 How do you, and this is a question for them, for the men. How do you know? She's the one?
Speaker 1 00:10:30 Oh, um, how do you know? She's the one? Uh, if it's been awhile, it's just still there. I know it was a joke, but seriously though. I mean like, you know, we're all humans, everyone is at times. And so she's still riding with, even with your shitty ass the more than likely. Yeah. No, I feel, yeah. I have a two part answer. Cause one is, I don't really know how I knew. I just knew. And I knew it was Laura. I think this is why I asked her to marry me. Um, I knew that I would know. And then I did know, but then what I realized after that was that's really just step one. And then like, everything else comes after that because the work, the work starts at that point, like deciding someone's like the one is just the person that you're committed to work with. And it's, it doesn't really mean anything other than that, because you don't do the work. It's not going to work. What I was laughing at is like, it was a white, famous you story, book
Speaker 2 00:11:54 Movies where everyone gets a little movie and then they're at the wedding. No one ever sells like the Monday after the wedding. Right. Monday. Like when the works are so like, Oh, that was so great. And then like on Monday you're like washing the floors on hand stuff. Are you always going to leave the toilet seat up or are you going to put that down? Right, right, right. Exactly. Jeff, you talk man. Well, my best friend yesterday, he was like, he was busting my chops about, um, like that, uh, uh, I might've missed a couple of really good. They were the warnings, but I was too picky or whatever. And maybe they're right. But yeah, like I think anyone that you can laugh with, laugh with them and you've got to like see them at their worst and, and take care of them. And if you can do that, that's the one for sure. Like, you know, like we can't always be Instagram and shit. So, you know, you got to see people at their worst and also that should change. It can be your one right now. And then like, you know, a couple of years later. Cause it's not the one life is weird as fuck.
Speaker 0 00:13:32 Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 00:13:36 Unless you get married better. That's awesome.
Speaker 0 00:13:50 I'm going to answer it for a female. I feel like, Oh, I hope. I feel like I met my one and I feel like he lives in Spain and he has a lot of levels like intellectual, spiritual, who knows about sexual. Cause I don't, you know, we haven't met, but like it's one of those people where you're just like
Speaker 3 00:14:22 She was bringing the package,
Speaker 0 00:14:25 But then like how do you know that person's going to work with you and do the work like you were saying, it's going to work with. So then my answer is, I don't know.
Speaker 2 00:14:39 That's cool that you feel that way though.
Speaker 0 00:14:42 Do I really do? I've learned like, you know, like maybe, maybe I have a husband in Spain.
Speaker 1 00:14:54 We should get your ass to Spain. Then
Speaker 0 00:14:56 I can't get there right now.
Speaker 1 00:15:00 Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. We can't leave our country as dirty, dirty Kobe.
Speaker 0 00:15:17 Here's another question for you men. Why does some men rushing so fast?
Speaker 1 00:15:23 Cause the thirsty I'm thirsty. Yeah. Why does anyone rush in fast? They're trying to fuck. Or they'd like really like, love that shit that love that feeling.
Speaker 0 00:15:42 I think it's either or they really like you and they can't help. They can't like, you know, uh, pace it.
Speaker 1 00:15:51 Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think, I think a lot of times we're also like kind of desperate for people to know us if we're lonely and shit. Yeah. I felt like in the COVID era, that sort of a theme, like
Speaker 0 00:16:08 You should see all up. Cause I'm not going to pay for dating app. Oh my God. This shit. So all through messages I get and like just weird shit. And then even just in general, people's like, you know, their paragraph, their intro paragraph is just like, I want to be in a relationship I'm bored about like, just all, just a bunch of weird stuff. But people aren't really affected by this pandemic.
Speaker 1 00:16:37 Does anyone say, I want to rub covert all over you.
Speaker 0 00:16:42 Yeah. I'm waiting for that though.
Speaker 1 00:16:49 Girl, you want a real Covance together. Like
Speaker 0 00:16:52 I love all of army.
Speaker 1 00:16:55 You don't want to share them. You want to share it up in like a bottle. Oh man. I think that, you know, I, I would say dating is hard. Any, any place that you're in, but this is probably a place where it's extra hard because I mean, there's just no place where you can actually connect with another human. It's not like you can, you want to hang out at the grocery store. Right. You're massed up trying to grab the groceries and piece out. And you know, I just think that it's uh, it's interesting. You know, I want to speak on the mass. You see this hot chick at the store, in the coffee store, beautiful eyes.
Speaker 0 00:17:47 Well, you have no idea what's going on with the fucking
Speaker 1 00:17:50 Face. Like God damn like, you don't want to like be like, yo I love you. And she'll take that off. And then you're like, fuck. Like I, you know, I mean, that's a silly joke, but I've seen a bunch of people with really amazing eyes. Jacquelyn. <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:18:26 You guys.
Speaker 1 00:18:35 I use, I get myself to not talk to him, but wait, did I not hear that? There was a dancer who said that you should wear your mask while getting in on, I mean, does not solve it for you guys. Like
Speaker 0 00:18:55 Tell your story. I have a friend, she fucking texted me. She was like, I'm not going to bust her out. Name-wise but if she texted me, she's like, I just had sex and sex, sex sex with so and so with that and 95 NASCAR and I was like,
Speaker 1 00:19:20 Like Darth Vader. I know, I know chicks. No. Yeah. Well, yeah, just Google it. There's already so much porn Colby. Hey listen. And they're like, Hey, would you put this mask on? I'd be like, Oh, get out of here.
Speaker 0 00:19:49 I have sex. If I have to have a mask on,
Speaker 1 00:19:52 Oh, you've already crossed that boundary. Yeah. I think you've already a, you've already swapped that. Right.
Speaker 0 00:20:00 Especially if you're not going to use protection,
Speaker 1 00:20:05 You got the antibodies. I got the antibodies that might be someone's negotiation. Look, I wear this in 95 masks. If I can take this condom ball deal is amazing. That's amazing. Good luck. Good luck out there in the streets. You guys want to be another beer when you got a second, but she gets back up.
Speaker 4 00:20:48 Okay.
Speaker 0 00:20:48 I wanted to do the outdoor move,
Speaker 4 00:20:51 Going to be too noisy. But Jeff moves over there. Is it all right? I've got these Bose headphones on. They have a microphone in them. I don't know if it's actually coming from my phone or these or what, but what's cool is we can also hear your conversation going on in the background. Can Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep them though. It's awesome. Yeah. I love it. I love it so much.
Speaker 0 00:21:28 All she, the beanie girl, she helped me.
Speaker 4 00:21:32 By the way, for those of you who are now looking at the video and listening to this as a podcast, she is not talking about her private parts. She's actually talking about a kitty cat.
Speaker 0 00:21:45 Amber Cadabra.
Speaker 4 00:21:49 Private parts.
Speaker 0 00:21:52 No, my little BB. Okay. Okay. So next question. Do you think having sex too soon can fuck up the chances of a successful
Speaker 4 00:22:15 30 minutes? Go ahead. What, what do y'all think? I would say, um, two, two ways. If you just met this person, wait 10 minutes at least wait, wait, wait. The longer you waited out the longer you wait the garbage out, like seriously, like it's the first day. You're like peace. Do's out a real one. We'll hang out and sweat you about the clock. They'll just want to hang out. Um, in the case of me and my wife, we were, we've known each other and we talked for like about two years before we actually started even talking about leaving. So I really think that if you just met this person, wait it out. What's what's the big, what's the big rush. Like, are you, if, if you just wanna, you know, smash and move on, that's another thing then just say right away, look, I'm looking to do this thing and then we can be about our business. And then if they're now one of the great, but if you want quality, then don't be willing to go to the pawn shop to try and get it at a discount.
Speaker 0 00:23:39 Cool.
Speaker 4 00:23:41 Yeah. I, uh, yeah, I
Speaker 1 00:23:46 Think it's worth waiting. I mean, honestly, yeah. I think if it's someone that you actually, that you think you're into then yeah, it's definitely worth. It's like, um, I dunno. It's like delayed gratification. I also think that when you get to know someone better, because sometimes you can have sex with someone and it kinda just like you just like the, all the mystery is gone, like all the, all the anticipation gone and like it's not really, I don't know. I think people can go pretty quickly after that. I feel like there's something to be said for like, you know, keeping that inches patient as long as you can. I don't know. I'm with it for relationship for sure. Weight, right? Yeah. Liking or loving the person fucking that fucking is dope. Fucking song. You just met. That's fun. Like it's fucking fun, but like, like me personally, as soon as you know, so if you liked someone way, we sound like old men, except for saying it's okay to fuck. No, you know what I'm saying? Like you should wait. Yo, Sarah, what do you think?
Speaker 0 00:25:16 I think that I am waiting until I get until there's a commitment and there's time spent. Cause for me, like I am, I am, women are internal, but I feel like, I don't think I'm, I just, I'm very sensitive. And so I get, um, attached through the whole decisions as all three of you can attest.
Speaker 1 00:25:40 Oh yeah. Oh, big time.
Speaker 0 00:25:47 I have to like really love myself and give myself time to actually get to know somebody and have a commitment. Cause I actually go, Hey, so
Speaker 1 00:26:00 Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:26:02 And you should have sex with other people. If you want to that you have like friends with benefits. That's fine. But don't have sex with someone that you know,
Speaker 1 00:26:09 Well, that's, that's, that's real, that's an established relationship with a sandbox. You know what the sandbox is. So you guys play, is that what they're calling it? These days a sandbox I've laid out the technical term for it, Google it right now.
Speaker 0 00:26:35 I think are good to have because then you can like, you know what they are. They're very clear. Everybody knows the rules. Everybody knows the expectations, which is no expectation, basically.
Speaker 1 00:26:46 It's cool. I've never really like that always crosses a line on like both parties are not fucking friends and we're fucking great catching feelings that you're going to catch feelings
Speaker 0 00:27:07 Pretty often.
Speaker 1 00:27:09 Yeah. You can't do it very often. You have to have a time when, where it's cut off. Yeah. I mean, I think I've done it, but it's not really been super like covertly discussed. It's just sort of happen, but I'm not really into, in general. Like when I was single and stuff, I didn't really have like a friend that I would just occasionally have sex with. I've never experienced that personally. Well speaking as someone who has yeah, it is, it definitely, it's something you can't do often. It's something that you have to be very clear on the terms of the arrangement. And if you both, those are the basic two wheels. I mean you have year to them, then this could be something I could ride out for a while until you guys are, you know, do your thing and settle down. And even when that happens, it's not a big, weird discussion. It's usually like, all right, cool. Well, you've obviously moved on, you know, but I think that my chair back, you have to be clear on it and you have to be upfront. Like you, you are, you clear right before you put it in, like we're just friends.
Speaker 1 00:28:32 Like let's face it. Let's face it when you're singing. It's probably afterwards that you're like, that was great. So contract terms, let's talk about this, right. Well, I think that's, you know, I think that's where people get hurt though, too. I think that's what I, you know, I think that's what I hear Nelson saying too. It's like people can catch feelings and then you don't it's, you know, that's why I didn't really, I don't really, I didn't really ever fuck around with it because I'm the type of person that would be all emotional and be fucking sweet. Well, I just peed on their carpet first. And so they knew I was an asshole Pete, on the carpet,
Speaker 0 00:29:20 This is P thing something happened with P I don't even know what happened though. I feel like I should know about it.
Speaker 1 00:29:26 Oh no, no, I'm joking. I'm joking. I know, I know where you're confused about this behind me. Just heard me say that.
Speaker 0 00:29:38 Well, cool. Cause we lived together and I think it was something a, like a, um, like a private joke or something or like a
Speaker 1 00:29:48 Yeah, well, you know, Jeff and I joke that whenever we go over a lady's house, we purposefully pee on the floor, you know, similar to marketing it's here. We don't leave our underwear. We just pee on the floor. And that joke literally just started earlier today when we said that just like a few minutes ago, it's not an actual thing, long running joke. Right. All over Minneapolis.
Speaker 0 00:30:18 Um, alright. Um, I'm reading the question. Um, and Afrin, you could use Africans like, like the fucking norm.
Speaker 1 00:30:34 Alright, read the next question. What's the next question? Just whatever.
Speaker 0 00:30:37 All right. What do men need to understand about women and about women from being just severely sick?
Speaker 1 00:30:46 I don't know. Fuck. Would we know Josie is hanging up their retirement Nelson, Nelson. What do men need to know about women? Is that what she said? Yeah. Y'all are fucking amazing. Uh, gain weight is in retro, whatever fucking winches. Uh, yeah, this is all on you. You should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
Speaker 0 00:31:29 Got it. Can I answer this right now?
Speaker 1 00:31:31 Yeah, please do. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:31:36 What do men need to understand about women and women and dating? Okay. Men need to understand that. First of all, we are like, we can be killed by you guys. We don't suck. We know there are some serious fucking like scary dudes out there where we could go to a date and they could like, I can hear Laura pillows or something, or also I think, um, need to know that. Um, I also feel like that's what Lincoln trying to. Okay. That's better. Yeah. Thank you. It was distracting me.
Speaker 1 00:32:34 Oh, for sure. No, it's going to be on the pocket. Need to know that
Speaker 0 00:32:40 Women, um, are internal creatures and we take, you know, like when we have sex, we take all kinds of things and we take your guys and stuff and we take our stuff and we process everything and we become attached. Not every woman is like this, from what I'm understanding. I'm wondering if, if it's like an orgasm thing and I talked to talk to you about this Nelson. Yeah. So I'm just need to understand that, um, we're different creatures and you guys, um, could harm us like physically. So we're taking a big risk going. No, no one else to say right now,
Speaker 2 00:33:34 The real serious point. And then Jeff Moon is flicking the fucking beam with his thumb.
Speaker 5 00:33:44 I was trying to, I was going to say something and I was trying to unmute it. I was trying to unmute it, but like the little, the little user interface kept popping up and popping back down. And then I was like, mute again. I'm meaning it.
Speaker 2 00:33:58 You fucking creep, bro.
Speaker 5 00:34:03 I actually want to, I'm sorry for that. And you can hopefully edit that out, but I want to respond to a first set because I don't even understand how women date men at all. Like, I don't understand, like if I was a woman, if I was a woman, I would not date men. I mean, I don't know. What does that, I guess it's literally hormones and the drive to reproduce that must drive women toward men because I don't, I don't know why else. I mean, I do know some good men don't get me wrong
Speaker 2 00:34:36 Emotionally, physically. Yeah. Well You just finished your podcast.
Speaker 0 00:34:55 You were gonna say something else and you were talking,
Speaker 2 00:35:01 Oh, what I was probably talking about, you know, me, I talked so much shit probably really, no. I mean, we've talked like to nauseum about relationships and dating and stuff and uh, and you read like women, women are scared. Like it's fucking dudes are nuts, but also, um, I got nothing. I was going to go on a sandwich.
Speaker 5 00:35:35 Well, I'll add one more thing.
Speaker 4 00:35:41 There's a thing. Um, I, a hundred percent agree with Jess. Ascertation like, and on a logical standpoint, why the fuck would you do this? Um, the propositions are scary at best and at worst deadly. Right. But what I do think that is that is less of, um, actual do trait and more of just, you know, we have this conversation about toxic masculinity and really what that is, is it's just a lack of, of education and connectivity to our own feelings. Um, when you tell someone they don't have feelings and that you shouldn't adhere to the feelings, they're eventually going to riot because they have feelings. And that riot takes form in a multitude of ways. A lot of them hurtful in maybe emotional or physical sense. And so really Nia as a father to a young boy, it's not my job to show him that he's okay.
Speaker 4 00:36:57 100% to be emotional. And he's okay to have feelings of being hurt or feelings of confusion, but what's not okay is to hurt another human being. Um, I think that really talking about dating is in some cases, the good guys have to be extra careful to show that there is a difference between us and someone who may be hurtful. And you don't know about on the first day, but what you can tell is, um, and really, I think of this as like us humans are like, we want to see what we want to see, but we also have to face reality. And those are at battle. Like I've definitely seen some things in women that I shouldn't have dated, right. Because I was like, Oh my God, they're there. They're really trying to be a better human. Are they? Or are they just trying to get over it either or right.
Speaker 4 00:37:58 And I think it's the same. I think that the, the, the curse of dating is sometimes you, you hear two competing voices, the voice of logic saying this person is bad for you. The voice of lonely saying, but they'll feel the loneliness for what you may want for right now. And those things, things are constantly pulling and tugging and where we find balances and, and going, Hey, I'm lonely, but I'm not willing to accept this. Or, Hey, I'm lonely, but I don't trust this guy. So I shouldn't accept this. Or, Hey, I'm only, but there is a red flag. Maybe I should not be this person because of that one red flag. And in some cases, you know, the crack shoot of it all is maybe someone has one red flag, but they're really actually awesome guy. They just don't know how to speak to things.
Speaker 4 00:38:48 Maybe there's one red flag, but they're an absolutely monster. And that was the red flag. Right? And so it's not what I would say to women is it's not your job to determine which flag is safe. It's your job to say? Um, I saw a red flag piece out because if someone wants to be with you, like they may even address it and say, Hey, you might've saw a red flag in me and I am sorry for that. And then they show improve, like your track record. Um, I have a friend who's like this crazy, really smart project manager. And he came up with one term that was so indicative of how things are laid out and it's historical correctness. What is this person's historical correctness. Can you trace where they had been from to where they are now? Have they been adjusting kind person all the way up to this point? Or have there been red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag. Cause guaranteed you, if there was a red flag with you, there's probably a red flag with someone else and it may be just one red flag with you. But if there's a series of these one red flags, those a whole lot of flags between people, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 5 00:40:13 I do. I just want to say, um, I think it's, I think it's, uh, you know, in the, in the context of this podcast, I think it's men's responsibility to be good people on their own terms and nothing to do, nothing to do with dating just as a human being, as we, we all should just strive to be good people. But I also want to say, it's also up to women at this point to breed that when bad men out of existence do not let a bad man and pregnant, like don't get pregnant by a bad man. When you see it, call it out, just don't do it. It's better than if I do whatever you need to do whatever. It's like, there's not, there's more, I feel like there's more bad men than good man. And so like, we're all quiet. Like all the good dudes are like quiet and shit like Nelson.
Speaker 4 00:41:09 I actually think the reverse, I that there are a lot of good men who get overshadowed by these dickheads and what makes a good man. Someone could be a good man, but never get noticed by a nice lady because some douche bag who's actually a bad man has a really good meaning. The outside of it looks good. And then they cut into the cake and all of a sudden it's not done, right. Or it's spoiled or whatever. Like I think that we really have to change our perception of what we want and where that first comes from is what do we want for ourselves? How do we want to be treated by our friends? Right? And by our family and by the people that we are want to be attracted to, because the first incidence of disrespect, you have to call it out. If they like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry for that.
Speaker 4 00:42:10 And they don't change their behavior by, by it can't be something where it's, it. Boundaries are important. That's what I mean by the same box. Right? We know where the edges of the sandbox are. We know where we need to play. You break that sandbox you out piece. And I don't have to give you a second chance. I don't have to give you a third chance. I don't even have I, you as women don't owe us explanation of why you pieced out. And for that guy, who's flipping out. Like, why didn't she know you're not old that no one is old. Anything. You just have to understand that someone ghosts you or someone moves on, okay, let's look at why they moved on. What did I do? Was I not sensitive to their knees? Did I say some things that might be disrespectful? Or maybe they're just done with me?
Speaker 4 00:43:07 Maybe I'm not their bag. And part of that, like, because I really think that people it's a series of, you know, action versus reaction cause and effect someone does something and then you haven't a reaction to it. And some, sometimes the reaction is, Hey I'm okay. They didn't like me. I moved on. Some of the reaction is they didn't like me. What did they like me? There is such a crazy bitch. Why didn't they like it? You have to be able to like pull away and go, okay, I'm snapping out right now because I got rejected or okay. This person didn't like me because I wasn't these things. Right.
Speaker 5 00:43:49 I've got a question for you. Okay. How do you like, do you, do you guys hit on you or do you hit on guys? Or like, how does that, how does that work? I've never heard I guys, okay. So I want to say this. I think that, and I'm just going to go out on a limb here. I think that probably the best like dunes are not very good at hitting on. And I think, I think a lot of like the dudes that are not worth like going out with are probably pretty good at hitting on women. So I think it, I think it also a good strategy might be, is to don't wait for a fucking douche bag to come fucking hit on you. You know? Like B, because I know like
Speaker 4 00:44:32 For me, like I can count zero fingers. The number of times that of a woman is like hit on me. You know what I mean? Or like maybe a couple, but like, I don't know. I feel like that could be, I feel like that could be a pretty strong strategy. I know like girls, like in Northern Europe and shit, they're like way more aggressive. I think it's just because they know what they're looking for. I mean, I don't know. I don't, I'm speaking out of turn like,
Speaker 2 00:44:54 Uh, Austin, Jeff, number one. If I saw you as sprouts, I would fucking hit on you so hard.
Speaker 4 00:45:03 Okay.
Speaker 2 00:45:07 No, when you're right here, you're totally right though. Like I have no, like, I feel like
Speaker 4 00:45:13 You wouldn't be the first guy to hit on me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:45:18 First. Not the last, but no like, like fairway you spoke on earlier about like being afraid of dudes. That's the main reason. Like I don't, I don't ever try to talk to a female unless I have a very specific, uh, in, you know, like it makes sense for me to talk to a stranger because otherwise that's creepy as fuck. Um, I might've caused, I might've missed some chances, but like, I'm not trying to be that dude. So
Speaker 4 00:45:51 Exactly.
Speaker 2 00:45:52 Wait for the moment. I'm like, Oh Mike, I like whatever the fuck. And it works. But other than that, like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna make the first move. No,
Speaker 4 00:46:01 To his point. I actually, like when I knew it was okay to sorta kind of move forward with maybe asking my now wife out was we both worked. She was a trainer at lifetime. I taught some classes at the club that she worked in. We've been having conversation for months. And there was just a certain look. She gave me, after a while here I am working out. She gave me this look and I was like, Oh, now the green light, she gave me the green light. And so I would have never, ever, ever press the issue because I didn't want to be that guy. Because guess what? Those guys come out like waves on a beach right there. Just smashing into you. And the good guys don't want to be that guy at all. They would rather lose an opportunity with someone may really admire that guy. I'll take,
Speaker 2 00:47:16 <inaudible>
Speaker 4 00:47:19 Say that again. Say it again.
Speaker 2 00:47:20 I said, I'll take an L I won't say shit before. I'll take it. Like, um, like that was inappropriate.
Speaker 4 00:47:30 What you just said because they get shit. But then also like alpha males that do that shit that like her 20 chicks on a street. That's some dumb chick that will be like, Hey. Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, and give them that attention. It's fucking nuts. But like, um, that's why they do it. I'm assuming. I don't know. <inaudible>
Speaker 5 00:48:01 That's right. And I want to point out real quick ladies, that motherfucking Nelson is single right now. So just keep that in mind. He's a good, he's a good guy.
Speaker 4 00:48:13 Yeah. I'm the only single one here in love with it, dude in Spain getting the fuck out.
Speaker 5 00:48:22 The other thing I was gonna say was a, wait, one more thing. Sorry. I was going to say, um, Oh, what the fuck was I going to say? Oh, it was, yeah.
Speaker 5 00:48:31 Oh, that's what I was gonna say. When, when, you know, when you asked earlier, how did you know it was going to be the one I actually remembered that I knew that the one for me was going to be a woman, fucking grabbed me by the shirt collar and was like, Hey motherfucker, I'm standing right in front of you and fucking lure on basically literally did that. Oh, she just looked at me. Wow. No, but that's, but that's the type of shit I'm telling you. And that's the type of shit that Nelson is talking about you, which is just that like, you know, there's so much shit. And there's so many like creepy dudes that are everywhere. Like I would rather not date anyone than come off as a creepy dude, because that's a lot of women in my life. You know, my sister, my mother, like I, there's a lot of women in my life that I love.
Speaker 5 00:49:16 And like, I would never want to, I don't know, like it's the bag and it's way easier just to like be chill. And the truth is, is like, if you just sit back and then maybe this is by Stu. If you just sit back and enjoy your life and just live your life the way it should be and just enjoy yourself, you'll fucking find someone that like someone or someone will pop up on the radar. And I feel like so many times we, we look so much that we end up pulling up a bunch of sand and pulling it, like muddying the waters,
Speaker 4 00:49:43 Jeff hit it on the head there, like build the life that you want. Don't put the people that you're trying to view as a life that you want in your life, build the life that you want, right. If you know what you want to deal with, and what's what values are important to you in your surrounding your wife, as a single person in that you are going to find the person. Now, the trick is when that person shows up, don't be like, well, you weren't six. This or you didn't look like that. You didn't show up with like a flaming cake. Like I wanted you to, because often what happens is show up. And we built the things around
Speaker 2 00:50:28 A life that we want, but we inject the person that shows up that's actually perfect for our life because they weren't with what our vision was for the person we wanted today. So that's the one thing I would say is like built the life. Don't worry about that person. But when they show up, pay attention.
Speaker 5 00:50:49 Yeah. I think I figured out a secret. I don't mean to cut anyone off, but I figured out a secret, which is that, which is that they, the, the, the person, like the person that you're waiting to, like the Prince charming or the princess, whatever that you're waiting for is actually you. That's what I fucking figured out.
Speaker 2 00:51:09 Jeff Nelson is my princess. Jeff Nelson is my princess. I'm going to get a bumper sticker tattooed on my neck. Oh my God. But you're right though. But like, like, um, what you said, what Omar said and what Jeff said, like, you definitely have to, uh, be happy with yourself and, and, and make your life about you and do your own thing. And I've been doing that and as lonely as fuck, but like me and fair, I've had so many talks where like, it's, it's a lonely road, but also like at times it's the fucking best road. Like I've had some of the best road trips by myself where I see, like, I'll see a couple just fucking argument. And I'm like, it's much as I would love to share this moment with someone like, fucking, I don't want to, I don't want any money, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2 00:52:18 So, but it's so it's, it's either you, you trudge forward by yourself, right. And, and, and figuring out your own heart, what you want. And I think that's really important. Or like, uh, until he finds someone who more like don't combo, I guess my whole blabbering is don't compromise that shit. You want to be with someone that can, you can look over and be like, this is the dopest moment. And they're like, fuck yet. Now, like, you don't want to look over and be like, Ugh, this fucking dude is fucking gross, or he's not getting heated after this trip. Or he fucking, he's not appreciating this river the way I'm appreciating, you know, I'm at like
Speaker 5 00:53:03 The student farts in his sleep all the time,
Speaker 2 00:53:08 Except Farrah has never farted once ever.
Speaker 6 00:53:13 You guys know the truth though,
Speaker 2 00:53:17 And Ferris things we do. Yeah. So like, I
Speaker 4 00:53:26 I've, I think the biggest point is, and I don't know, I just know in my limited experience of dating that really Eve, and by the way, for those who are single and listening to this, just know Jeff mentioned this earlier, and he was absolutely correct. Finding the one is step one of a very long journey because you'll find the money, but like I have a ride and then Monday happens, right? And Monday is real deal. You're dealing with how you are as a person. And you're trying to grow yourself as a person in conjunction with trying to communicate in a relationship that you have deemed as important. And so it is like, as me being a young, like a young father, not young personally, but young as in like my baby's nine months old, I think that it's a worthwhile journey. But for people to think that it's all going to be roses and like you find someone is good, you're going to work.
Speaker 4 00:54:40 It is constant work. And so what you, as single people fit, feel as lonely, um, you're even in a relationship, you can also feel lonely and it's not because you're not connected to your partner. It's just, you're changing. You're dealing with things that are internally a struggle. You cannot communicate that to the other person. It is like, is like, you're trying to communicate over a rushing river. Right? So I always tell people when they're saying don't be so, so much in a race to get to that person that you get married to because everyone talks about their wedding. They don't talk about the building blocks of getting up to that point or the building blocks afterwards. It's not a foot race. It is literally ultra marathon. You're running hundreds of miles together. So miles are going to be awesome. So miles are going to break your toes. Just that.
Speaker 5 00:55:46 And, and really, I mean, and look, um, I've only been married for eight years and there's many people that have been married for decades and decades. So I can't say shit, but, but I will say that what I understand so far is that like you really do well. I realized I had to change my mindset of just like this person is now a family member. You know how you run, you can't run from your parents. You can't run from your sister or brother or cousin. It's the same shit. You have to put that in your mind. Like this person now is like, I'm with them forever. If you're going to make a marriage less than like, this is my person forever. And so just the same way as you can't run from your brother and sister, you can't run from any conflict you have
Speaker 4 00:56:24 With your partner. You have to face it. You have to work on it. So yeah. I feel like it's successful relationships. You have to put that in your mind for that long term. Yeah. And it's like straight up, it's a grind. Um, it's a worthwhile grind. It's a humble and grind. It is a grind that will change you forever in the best ways possible. If you allow it to, for make no mistake, like as a single person, you can call, you can call anything quits. If you don't like the hair on her knuckles do sound like straight up. The Seinfeld effect. Is it? The Seinfeld thing is in effect. Oh, they woke up and they had bad breath on it. I'm down with them. And so like, why, why it's important to like really take your time and weight and to, to let this thing, cultivate is exactly what Jeff and I are talking about. Like, marriage is a wonderful thing. I don't regret a day of being married. I am happy to be married on the hardest day when you're like, fuck my life. I'm still happy to be here. But like, we don't want to make it sound like you just test the bouquet and limits all like flags. It only gets harder. It gets fucking harder. It's hard. Y'all y'all motherfucker. Oh, I can't wait to fuck in front of me. Motherfuckers enjoy yourselves. It gets harder.
Speaker 4 00:57:57 The Rover is like, just kick a dog. Just drink your beer. Just, just, just having shots. Just, just go for it. No, seriously. And if you don't follow Nelson's Instagram, you definitely should. Because band that you take it with janky and shit, man. Oh my God. It's the best.
Speaker 2 00:58:14 Well, that's, that's the, thank you. That's the thing is like, I couldn't do that with someone fucking nagging me the whole time
Speaker 2 00:58:28 Now, like I told you, like, yes, no, it would be amazing to go on a trip with someone then we're both like, this is fucking dope, but also like, um, um, but it's also, it's also amazing to be able to make your own choices. Ultimately, I want to find someone that like, we just naturally fucking want to do the same shit and not trying to push, push something together. And it sounds like Jeff and Omar had found people. They found women that like, uh, on the same page that are willing to, uh, go forward, live their own lives and also live their lives have kids apparently. And like, you know, like that's just still be, it can't be, he can't push that shit. So, um, yeah, like dude, as much as I want a partner, I, I love not being able to ask for any permission, fucking anything you will ask for permission. You are lots of things. You know what I'm saying? But like, if you've lost it that's fuck. Yeah boy. Yeah. But also I'm going to be the guy that's in the old part of my fucking wheelchair into the corner. And they're like, no, no fucking mr. Nelson, you know, like y'all going to have, you know what I mean? Like it's a lonely road, but also fucking, you know,
Speaker 5 00:59:58 Wait, but it's worth, but it's worth the wait though. I mean, and you'll find some Miami, Hey yes,
Speaker 2 01:00:03 Yes. It's soon as you meet that person. Fuck. Yeah. Like I'm down, I'm down to like put up with all the shenanigans, but like updated enough. Uh, uh, 2010, Jeff really had fucking low standards and I put myself through a whole bunch of fucking heartache that I will not do now. And like fucking one, but I'm not going to do it now. And I, and like, I think fair standards that she never thought she would have me and for have been through the red flag, fucking factory. So many times like that, I'm like, God damn like, it's not worth it. So guys, unfortunately I have to, uh, return to dad duty.
Speaker 5 01:00:59 I got a bouncy. I got, I got people in the bar right here.
Speaker 2 01:01:02 Yeah. I love you too. Thank you for having me here.
Speaker 5 01:01:07 I can't wait to hear this. I'm sure. We sound like great fools.
Speaker 2 01:01:10 I'm sure we sound like the ultimate tools, Jeff. It was good to see you today, twice in person and virtually Jeff Nelson. Great to meet you. I just look forward to hearing more about you and Farrah love you so much. My dear. Thank you for asking and I can't wait to hear the shit show. It's going to be good. I hope there's a lot of editing.
Speaker 5 01:01:46 Hey, Nelson, Nelson. I'll see you in Austin, man. I'll see Austin
Speaker 2 01:01:50 Keep inviting me to stuff. And I swear
Speaker 5 01:01:55 I will because the thing is it's word. We not might not be in Austin that much longer. So you need to hit us up. Hey, love y'all. Hey, talk to you soon. Thank you so much. Fare. This has been fun. Thank you.
Speaker 2 01:02:14 It's just me and you. I love you to
Speaker 0 01:02:21 All right. Good job. Did you have fun? I had fun. I'm tipsy now. I don't know what the fuck to do with myself.
Speaker 7 01:02:28 <inaudible>.
